| It's amazing what people will do if they feel it is | | | | £200 to have the engine re-mapped. |
| socially acceptable. For example auditioning to be | | | | Now re-mapping isn't changing the location of the |
| locked in a house for three months surrounded | | | | engine parts, but having a boffin with a laptop |
| by cameras is the gateway to 'stardom', jumping | | | | plugging up to the engine and magically generating |
| off a tall building to your imminent death before a | | | | more power from it. This sounds great and for |
| piece of cloth catches the air is seen as 'fun' and | | | | £200 you can't go wrong you must be |
| jumping into a freezing cold Scottish lake on New | | | | thinking. Only problem is that Volkswagen are |
| Year's Day is 'tradition'. People also think nothing of | | | | German and no-one designs machinery better |
| taking a screwdriver to the family Volkswagen | | | | than them, particularly when you consider the |
| Polo and having a bash at 'improving' it | | | | people employed to do the tricky calculations |
| themselves. | | | | under the bonnet barely see daylight and instead |
| I must admit that I'm guilty of having a go at | | | | see numbers flashing before their eyes. As a |
| modifying my current and previous wheels with | | | | result, £200 laptop man has managed to |
| mixed success. It's funny to think that despite the | | | | confuse the sophisticated computer that controls |
| millions of pounds spent designing the car you | | | | all facets of the engine working correctly and my |
| own; people automatically assume a few hundred | | | | mate now drives around with so many warning |
| quid here and there will improve it. Imagine if you | | | | lights on his dashboard it's permanently Christmas |
| applied this to your household items. Your washing | | | | for him. |
| machine for example spins at 1,000 a minute. | | | | What he should've done if he wanted a |
| Have you ever thought of turbo-charging it to | | | | Volkswagen Polo with more oomph is to have |
| boost spin power by 50%? Of course you | | | | purchased the GTi version. The Polo comes with |
| haven't as the professionals who built it would've | | | | the same turbocharged 1.8 litre engine found in |
| done that already if it improved the cleanliness of | | | | the Audi TT; albeit one that produces 148bhp |
| your clothing. | | | | rather than 237bhp. Clearly Volkswagen have put |
| I've got a toasted sandwich maker loving stored | | | | their sensible hats on as anymore power than the |
| at the back of one of my cupboards that's never | | | | 148 would quite frankly be scary, so no need to |
| seen the light of day. Do I have the urge to | | | | get the laptop out then. |
| mould grooves to make it cook faster on the | | | | Thanks to this relative restraint under the bonnet |
| hot-plate? Clearly not. My PlayStation 3 doesn't | | | | the chassis can cope with the power, giving you |
| come with a spoiler fitted to make it load faster | | | | the confidence to throw the car into any corner |
| and my bed hasn't been lowered to impress the | | | | and feel confident you won't end up in a hedge. |
| ladies. | | | | It'll still race to 60mph in just 8.2 seconds mind. |
| The furthest extreme I've seen car modifying | | | | The Polo GTi is what made the original Golf GTi |
| taken was courtesy of my mate who quite | | | | so exciting before it got bloated with age - it |
| frankly I keep as a friend purely for his humorous | | | | looks like the standard hatchback save for a few |
| antics. Not content with buying a Volkswagen Polo | | | | subtle tweaks to the front grill and ride height, but |
| from eBay of all places and then travelling 300 | | | | it has real spirit and the feeling that there is |
| miles to collect a car that clearly wasn't as | | | | nothing superfluous to distract from the joy of |
| specified in the advert, he's spent a large amount | | | | driving it. |
| of time flushing his money down the drain | | | | It's far closer to the cost of the original Golf GTi |
| modifying the poor car. Let me throw some | | | | too with a new Polo GTi costing under |
| figures at you. He bought the car for | | | | £15,000 which taking into account inflation |
| £3000 and has since spent £750 on | | | | is marginally more than the original GTi's |
| a exhaust, £100 on silver door pin covers | | | | £5,700 price tag in 1981. Compared to the |
| for when the door lock pops up, £150 to | | | | massive £22,000 the Golf GTi now |
| have the rear boot handle spray painted, | | | | commands new this really is a no brainer. It would |
| £500 on a sound system that flattens the | | | | save my friend a fortune in time and money - |
| car battery in five minutes, £150 to have | | | | especially a second hand version. |
| the front grill replaced and the icing on the cake - | | | | |